Tag Archives: Band Aid

Sergeant Geldof’s Unknown Acts Club Band

19 Nov

It was thirty years ago today.

There seems to be some debate on Band Aid in 2014 so ok I will jump in too. Firstly do not think I am anti charity or such like. I am not nor am I anti Band Aid. The following is ten reasons why I am not a Band Aid 30 fan;

1 Even I struggle to name some of the autotuned singers.

2 Change some of the lyrics all you like it’s effectively the same fucking song I bought in 84 with singers I knew, my parents knew and even my granny knew. Bob your the Sergeant of the Unknown Acts band.

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Original Band Aid line up 1984-85

3 Sorry it’s now offensive.  Ebola or not the vastly Muslim population in the parts of Africa suffering from this outbreak does not give much of a fuck if it’s Christmas let alone if they all know when it is?

4 Sometime after 1984 who died and made Bob fucking Geldof king. He and his band have three songs only one every one knows! He is rather fucking rich himself via media companies. 

HEY GELDOF GIVE SOME OF YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY YOU TIGHT PRICK AND FILL OUT A GIFT AID THING AND CUT OUT PRODUCTION COSTS. In fact if he appeared on tv with a GIFT link thing the population of the world would think this such a novel idea they would give very generously.

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Jason Donovan, Luke and Matt Goss (Bros), Kylie Minogue BAND AID 2

5 If your looking to become Mother Teresa then GET SOME NEW FUCKING MATERIAL. You released the song in 84 then re-released it in 85. You gave Pete Waterman, Kylie and Bros a go in 88. Then went to network 7 for a big breakfast then you had another go with new artists in 2004. With Robbie Williams and even got a new rap section from Dizee Rascal and a epic guitar solo from that guy Justin we liked from The Darkness. So in 2014 we have had the cover of a cover of a re-released song we all already own, know. The only person who could carry this kind of repeat performance is Frank Sinatra. Bob, Band Aid ain’t no Blue Eyes. Bob Geldof and Midge Ure have effectively been hitting the public with the same six foot stick for the last thirty years albeit after a while they painted the stick. Whatever the pretty colour the same stick is still being used to skelp us with.

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Band Aid 20 this time with a Rap and Rock Guitar Solo

6 Africa! It’s a money pit. People struggle around the world. It’s a bit geo specific and some could argue elitist to only concentrate on one continent. Spread the love Bob.

7 What made you pick out Adele for special attention because of why? She didn’t answer you call, Bob. She has a small child whom she has pretty much publicly said she is concentrating on exclusively. Bob I don’t know how you use call screening but I would bet most of the people you call screen the call see it’s you and don’t fucking answer! I notice you didn’t pick in Kate Bush who for similar reasons to Adele screened you at least four times now! You didn’t call out any one else who did not make your remake.

8 What makes you think your charity is better. You kicking the teeth of Gareth Malone and his Choir in aid of Children In Need. We like Children in Need it uses a different song every year it puts in the effort.

9 Joss Stone featuring Jeff Beck for Brittish Legion. Then Gareth Malone for Children in Need now your feeble rehash for Ebola. We are charitied up. Fed up with it it’s not novel. Remember that idea your stole from George Harrison about Bangladesh well we the buying public are well used to attempts to guilt us out of cash with not very good records.

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Band Aid 30

10 Don’t and I mean this don’t have a fucking bastarding concert in aid of … We can do without 18 mins each of various auto tuned acts hoping to right off any expenses with the tax man and at same time promote their latest song while boosting their back catalogue!

So there you have it ten reasons why I don’t like Band Aid 30.

Oh and have a quick look at all the versions in one lazy mash up

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